Strength comes from within
There is a distinct possibility this drawing is not yet finished. But I like it a lot! I like the very sexual feeling it has. I see it as very girl power but in a grown up way... so that would be woman power, I guess. I talked to my friend about the style change am in and she notices it perfectly reflects the personal changes I've been going through. Especially the growing up part. I never imagined growing up (not that am fully there yet) would be so empowering in so many ways. If I knew I would have done it ages ago. It's not that I have been hiding anything here, not reporting it or anything, it's just that it is not so much anecdotal. There are no little events or epiphanies I can talk about they are more like gradual changes, when all of a sudden you realisz you are a whole different color. :-)))
New directions
To tell you the truth, I am transitioning into a new style and have nothing of substance to report.Life is reasonably good, I am thinking how to get to a certain amount of money for travel (and do it fast), been dealing with the matters of the heart a bit more lately, still into running, been playing a lot of Words with friends lately ( Alec Baldwin be damned), got through a mini phase of italian cuisine last week... You have no idea how many times I wished my life is more exciting just so I can write about something substantial. And really I don't need much, you can ask my friends: I can make a story out of very little. I hope you like new style directions. Am not there yet but I like this return collage is having in my work. Can't wait to see where it takes me.
If you build it, it will come
There is, as it turns out, two posts in this.I have just realized that I have never doubted the outcome of my pursuits. I decided for a fashion illustration career, and even though everything is moving very slowly and it is a tough field to get into and even harder to stay in, I realize now I have never doubted that I will get where I want to be eventually. How do I know this? Because for the first time, a tiny thought of what if I don't make it has managed to enter my consciousness. It is only when you have doubt, I guess, that you can see you have faith. I am not, though, going to entertain this thought yet, as it seems like playing with fire. Specially at trying times as this is. The other reason is that deep down I believe that if you try and never give up, there is no option you are going to fail in anything. Maybe it doesn't happen in a time you scheduled or society has set as desirable, or even in a way you imagined it should or can happen, but it will happen.So
The nile is a river in Egypt
It is time to come out of denial and admit the truth. Primarily to myself and then I guess to everyone else. I was talking to a friend the other day and came to a realisation... or rather admitted to myself that I have lost passion for this blog. I know, I know it has been obvious or a while, but this has been a hard truth to see for me, because this blog gave me so much: it gave me a creative outlet, it gave me, I can confidently say, new friends, it gave me wonderful illustration opportunities. I feel like... you know when you are in a long relationship with someone you adore and admire but are not in love with anymore. You still think they are a wonderful person but, if you are honest with yourself, you are not in it with all your heart.
I had a situation like this before, and even though I knew it was a right decision to end it, I often wondered, is it a good idea to end a relationship just because you are not in love anymore. I have friends that are married or in long solid relationships, and they all say the same thing: Pfft, I've been in love with my husband the first year, year and a half. Apparently for long relationships there is an all other package of feelings and attitudes required to make it work. I am not good at this. I realise it is childish and naive, and even dangerous, expecting strength of passion to take me to my goals ( or be enough for a long lasting love).
So I need to find a way or learn how to make things work. This is my goal for the year. In many ways I know I am somewhere half way: there is no point in turning back but It's a long and hard road in front of me. Here is a chance to learn how to persevere to the end.P.S. Interesting fact: this post took 3 days to write and draw. In the process of procrastination I rearranged the kitchen, updated my iTunes library with some great new music, downloaded a few great movies (probably to prepare for procrastination of my next post, even though I think Wim Wanders is a great way to do it) and read every gossip magazine I got my hands on.
