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Shall we say unfulfilled

 
Well, as I said if magazine pitch passed or not, at least i'll have something to post on my busy days. This one is completely random I guess and pretty much has nothing to do with anything.

This week is as busy as the previous two plus I have decided to include social life back into the schedule (purely for mental health reasons). Which basically means I go to work around 7 in the morning and come back around 6 (good days) or 7 (usually) and then have one drink with one friend, go home early and fall asleep tipsy of wine… This off course makes me feel very, shall we say, unfulfilled.

Anyway about the drawing: it's for an article on pitfalls of shopping. Magazine is very fashiony so I wanted to have such a feel about the illustration. Off course I super enjoyed doing these even though I was doing them after 10 hour days well into the midnight…. FOR F*** SAKE it would be nice if every once in a while I had something else to talk about except  work!!!( and eczema doesn't count).
I am bored of putting those words on (Office Word) paper.
The other day a friend and I reminisced about the past and she mentioned how she went to see a movie with my then boyfriend. And then she asked how come you weren't with us?
"I probably didn't have time"- I answered, because even though it was 8 years ago and I have no idea what time of year was it or what day it was, 99% that this was the reason for not going.
Pathetic.

Back to black

 

 


       
Dear, dear Amy. I was so sad when I heard she passed away.
I kind of hoped she'll do a Drew Barrymore and one day just be this happy, productive person, some kind of more talented version of Corrine Bailey Rae (not that Corrine isn't talented, it's just that Amy's voice was otherworldly, she is one of those rare talents you see only few times in a hundred years), you know just this sensitive, talented, working artist with inner strength.
First thing I thought, when I heard the news, was I can't believe we won't hear any more Amy Winehouse songs… though I hope there are some recorded somewhere and, like 2Pac's, are gonna keep surfacing for years to come. She gave a soundtrack to a few years of our lives, everybody, regardless of music taste, loved her. Her music was tasteful, original and smart: anyone who ever, rightfully or not, dramatised their love life could connect with both her lyrics and her voice.
Well I drew Amy. First one is from her video "Love is a losing game" which is, strangely, done as she is already dead: all put together from previously recorded material, with her face in slow motion, all in black and white and a mournful feeling to it… Just so, so sad. The other one is just a pic that I had on my computer, that I just kind of liked as she had a healthy feeling to her.




Heaven can wait


So today, pen in my hand I decide to draw something. No idea where am going or what I wanna do.
This is what I came up with.
I have no idea what it means but have a distinct feeling it's important.
Than I animated it. It's just a sketch of an animation, I wanted to avoid a nervous breakdown at any cost having already had one on Monday morning.
Doesn't suck.

 

p.s. Song is Heaven can wait by Charlotte Gainsbourg... Hence the title.

Apple breakdown

 

I think I haven't mentioned this but I got me a new computer about month and a half ago. Happy news, I know, until I tell you about the ensuing nervous breakdown I had this weekend.
So.. I got me a MacBook Pro, thinking to myself it's either worth the money or not, either way it's supposedly good and most important of all, oh so pretty (I had pretty much all Apple products at one point or another, except I pad which is (still) on my wish list). So I fork out some MAJOR money and go for it.
Flash forward month and a half later and it's battery died! You can imagine my frustration and disappointment. In the middle of redesign at work, with a deadline for the printers at no Monday and my "monster" of a computer works about as fast as a pocket calculator and only when it's plugged in.
Monday morning I call the official reseller in Croatia to get it fixed and they are not really interested. They tell me in robot voice: Ma'am, there is an official protocol we need to follow and maybe (and maybe not) I could get it back in about two weeks. Of course am livid (and shouting at this point): TWO WEEKS! I HAVE A JOB ( and not  to mention a blog)!!! AM NOT SOME 12 YEAR OLD WHO GOT IT CAUSE OF THE COOL FEATURES PHOTO BOOTH HAS!
Off course they didn't like me shouting at them but I didn't like them selling me a 3000 € computer for it to die after month and a half.
In the end I will take it to another company, as they were at least understanding to my problem. And mostly this is what I, as a costumer wanted, someone telling me they know it sucks this happened and that they will do their best to fix it as soon as possible. That's it.
Am off now, have to find someone who knows Steve Jobs to complain to him directly about the company that sells Apple in Croatia.
This is probably where 6 degrees of separation will come in handy, no!?!?

Busy bee

 

I have been insanely busy for the last 5 days. And I promise am not overreacting or just  finding an excuse not to draw more. And surprise surprise, am not even complaining. Wink wink!
I have been doing some great stuff. At work we are in the middle of redesign of a product, so there is a lot of team work, lot of ideas are thrown around and it's all around fun (though I have used an expression "Adobe Monkey" once or twice) . So I've been working on that over the weekend too. Also I've been working on two drawings for a magazine pitch, and I should really finish them as soon as possible. If they don't pass I figure I'll just write posts around them as both are familiar subjects: dwindling sexual life in long term relationships and overspending. I figure I'll scratch something up for them, even though obviously I never had trouble with either. Wink wink!!!
This lovely you see up is from 2 months ago but she somehow dodged the bullet on being published. I love the dress and I have finally started to see it around the red carpet circuit. And on someone cool, just can't remember who. Girls these days having such diverse styles and all, wink wink!!

Commission(ed) heaven



 

Two good news today:
1.There will be no mention of eczema or any related subject
2. You get to see what I did for Veronika's new website.

I have to say this was absolutely a dream commission. Veronika gave me a direction and complete freedom in interpreting it. That way I haven't felt confined by someone else's vision (which inevitably happens, in bigger or smaller amounts, when you need to materialize someone's ideas) but I could still avoid anxiousness of imagining something completely new for someone (here I am always worried if I am in the same "feeling" as them, did I understand it right, will I get inspired enough etc.)
Well I have to tell you I did this one right. I mean I had brainstorming, I had sketches, I had versions of work, I had evolution of my vision, I went totally pro. And I loved every minute of it. And to think this could be life… I could totally do this for a living!
What you can see here is just two drawings, as it is a bit much to show the complete process in one post and a bit self indulgent to do over few posts... plus they are two big to scan on my mini scanner and I don't have a decent camera (I only have the final one cause Veronika made the pics). But I think you can get the idea.There are two final ones, you can see them both on Veronika's blog. Do let me know what do you think and if you like them.

Insignificant others

 

If there is hell I think it most definitely features bureaucracy in it's one of it's circles. Quite possible the last one.

I went to the dermatology ward at the hospital today to get tested so they can tell me what exactly is happening. What I got is that I have been shouted at by three different nurses for being so stupid as not to know the protocol, sent to three different rooms, seen by a doctor for about 27 second after which he told me "it's probably an allergic reaction" (glad he went to school for that!!!) and got sent to another room were they gave me an appointment for allergy tests in month and a half! 
I said:" But it itches and I can't sleep!". 
Nurse replied:"This is the skin disease ward. It itches everyone here." 
Which is probably true to be honest.
Frustration doesn't begin to describe what I felt.
The worst part is that nobody cares, they don't even want to think about it. I have two options now: either pay a lot of money and go private or try and find a "connection" at the hospital to get myself properly looked at. For those of you who don't know, this is the Croatian way of doing things. If you need something done you need to know someone in the company, be it a hospital, police, government… pretty much anywhere. It doesn't have to be high up, a janitor will do. And at the moment I have such resistance to this idea. It just seems completely ludicrous: I realise that those people see a lot of patients every day and not everyone can be given the maximum attention, but I mean you at least need to try. Or just be nice: like it's not enough I just get sent from one room to another, I have to be shouted at as well!?!

Phew... feel a bit better now though.

p.s. I hope this is it for the rant portion of the month! :-)

Thank you

 

Well first of all. HELLOOOO!  I am so happy to see everyone.
I was away for a whole month and I miss you guys so much and I miss this blog.
Just to let you know, I wasn't completely useless all this time. I had two commissions, one of which you will hear about soon enough as it was simply heaven to do, I did a banner for a fellow blogger and made my new web site.
Then I was on holidays for a few days on Croatian island Vis, which was heaven. I'll write about it as well. I kinda have to as I've been very strict on Croatia so it's only fair to show the pretty part too.
But, about two weeks ago I developed this itch on my feet and it turns out I have an eczema. So now I would now like to say thank you to my eczema as it was very nice to me. It provided many things for me: I got to skip gym and my runs (which btw I very much enjoyed, but obviously needed something to come between us). I got to be nervous as much as I wanted as I couldn't sleep properly because of all the itching. It also gave me an excuse not to draw as it made me pretty miserable and we all know there is no point in drawing when you are miserable. It provided a great common ground for me and my mother as this is where she thrives: she likes to worry and this is how she shows love. This time it didn't irritate me but it actually made me feel safe. It also made me go to the doctor which I usually do only if bleeding heavily (small amounts don't count) which I was due for some time now for a check up. 
So my dear eczema thank you, you have been very kind to me. You can go now!

If btw, you are wondering if I am being ironic, I am not. I honestly feel there is a purpose to everything and I chose this for a reason. But to be honest am still not sure what it is! I hope I find out soon though as I miss my lovely healthy feet. I am going for some test tomorrow so… fingers crossed the health system treats me kindly!
See you real soon lovelies.