Shop girl

 I never liked working in the service industry, but here I am again. Just kidding. Anyway, my lovelies, the Etsy shop is finally open. So no I was not lazy and completely forgot my blog (and all the other wonderful ones I read regularly, you know who you are wink wink), it was that I was working on this.
It actually takes a lot of work and all the time I keep getting new ideas or coming to new realizations (tell you all about it some other time) so I still have a feeling it's a bit unfinished.
Off course the fact that I promised to do it till the end of January and started doing it on the 24-th didn't help, but that's another subject.
Well anyways here is the link hope and you like it.

I have to go now as I also have an animation to finish which I started even later than the shop and am so not into embarrassing myself so early into the 2011. Do enjoy the shop and let me know what you think.

Of pink jeans & death

I bought pink skinny jeans the other day.
I plan to wear them in about 101 different ways... and than cut them short, like Barbie's hair, just for one fleeting moment of pleasure followed by a wave of regret until I discard them as well, to some forgotten corner of my closet.

How did a post on pink jeans turned so dark?

Whatever, I have the drawing already so it's staying, but I need to have a talk with myself. These things can't be happening, this is a place of business... there is no time of sudden throwaway culture guilt.
I do apologize.

On a happier note recently I finished a header for a fellow blogger and it is now up. Check it out on Very Chic list blog.

Fur for tought

I saw a lady in fur today and it reminded me of something I wanted to bring up already.
When I was little my mother had a fur coat and that fox thing (which I was afraid of) as most women did . Were I am from is basically Mediterranean climate, so cold was not the reason. It was simply fashion and it wasn't as expensive as today (and people had different shopping habits; you would buy things to last). Anyway at the time it was normal, but now... it just seems such an archaic piece of clothing, like corsets or hats in church. This woman was young, had a child and obviously had money, but somehow that coat made her look like that money is the central point of her life. I mean even if we put aside many animals killed to make that coat (which we really can't) and that it is winter and fur is warm... It just makes her look like someone who needs an outlet for spendinga lot of money.
But then on the other hand, if I see fur details, like scarfs or on jackets, I kinda like it. Specially this season everything is full of fur details and not once have I tought of the poor animals or out-dated ideas behind those pieces. I didn't even think about the fact that it is a dead animal around someones neck! Like the fact that it's smaller justifies it more. Silly I know, but still true... can't even be properly judgemental about it as one could bring up eating animals (which I do, even though I could get all my energy without it. I do it cause I like it) or the fact that there are much bigger issues to worry about than animal rights. My head hurts of all the pros and cons... Now I know why I never took the time to properly think about it.

UPDATE: My friend Nina left me this link in response to this subject. It is VERY GRAPHIC and it made me sick, but this is the harsh truth on how fur is manufactured today. I don't think anyone can be undecided after this! You can watch it here.

Gone from good

Good has recently become a swear word in my vocabulary. You see I have been, since forever, trapped by the devious nature of this term. As a child my one and only mission in life was to be a good daughter, friend, girl, student, granddaughter and so on. This went on through to the adulthood and I find myself still striving for basically the same emotion. For a while now I have been feeling confined to a very small space of personal existence. Don't get me wrong, I do not feel victimized by it as I completely understand it is me who is expecting and me who tries to fulfill these expectations.
On the other hand I hate when someone thinks of me as great or excellent. Because you see, excellence brings on a lot of responsibility in a way that people start expecting more from you. As I always want to satisfy, this is a lot of pressure for me.
So I try to be good to satisfy most of the people around me, but at the same time loathe excellence. And here in lies the problem; This way I keep my self in a little buffer zone where I can almost completely avoid any form of criticism or confrontation. This makes my life a bit cosier and a little less stressful, but also makes me mediocre in almost everything, often passive aggressive in my relationship (due to avoiding confrontation) and saddest of all... never really truly happy.
I have realized this just recently and it makes me a bit sad. When I write this I have a feeling I am writing about a 10 year old girl, but one that is trapped at one point in time. The sad part about it is that I find myself on the brink of my thirties and not sure how to do things differently...
I have decided to solve this with the George Constanza rule; just do opposite of your natural instincts. Off course I do realize this is not the ideal place either, but I fell I have to find my opposite pole in order to establish the middle path. And we all know that middle path is always the right path.

DISCLAIMER: I would just like to add that this is no way a reflection on opinions or feelings of people who actually do think good (or great or bad) of me. This is an issue I hope to resolve soon and one of the perks is going to be that I will only get better at my work and to mine and everyone's bigger enjoyment. I CHERISH EVERY SINGLE COMMENT anyone writes on this blog and I love when someone enjoys my art.

A lot of beautiful people wearing a lot of beautiful clothes

Let me tell you how one of my ideal Saturday scenarios look like:
I wake up round 8:30/9:00 in the morning. It is sunny outside (this is important cause 1.Am going out later on and 2. I have a wall of windows). I get up, make coffee and take two fresh doughnuts (it is important they are fresh, although I obviously didn't have to go out to get them so how they got there is one of those holes in the script). Then I turn my computer on and look at pictures from the awards. But big ones like, Golden Globes or Oscars. And specially, oh I love this, from the after parties! These are specially fun, to see who is talking to who, who got drunk, who actually eats, who is a party pooper
Think what you want about it, but this is one of my top ten Saturdays. There is nothing worse but the curse of working day awards. I mean this is call in sick material!
So golden globes were on Sunday which meant I saw them at work, which is not cool OK, but also not as fun, no....
I wasn't too impressed with any one's fashion choice but this is less important... What is, is a lot of beautiful people wearing a lot of beautiful clothes. Heaven I tell you. Pass me that doughnut.

Taking the recycling out

 All day long I was working (and it is illustration actually, so woo hoo!!!) but now I have no energy to do anything for the blog.
So here I  am recycling.
This is two illustrations I did some time ago. One is from that great Lanvin collection where everything was red and looked like couture. The other is Balenciaga from about 2 or 3 years ago. I loved that collection. It was the last in the row of hits for them. Last year and this year I wasn't that delighted by their stuff.
Also on a similar note... I went out Friday and all Saturday long suffered a such a badass hangover. It was brutal (Probably cause all day Thursday I had the stomach flu and couldn't eat a thing. I was scared to eat Friday as well... empty stomach and alcohol don't mix I guess...). But, what I love is that I had the "good hangover look". You know the one: you have the right amount of bed head, your mascara is smudged, but just enough, your skin actually looks good for once.... It is one in a hundred, and I loved it. If I had the energy I would draw it.
Another time I promise.

Pay it forward

Lovely Johanna Urban tagged me in pay it forward, so I have a post today even if I don't feel too good.
7 things you may not know about me... oh gee, where do I start;

   1. My favourite book when I was little was Heidi. I was never too much into princesses, independent modern girl was my thing. When I was 9 I used to draw a "Cosmo" girl life; how she gets up in her lovely apartment, goes to work, has fun with her friends, buys clothes. Thanks to my mother I have proof of this and will definitely show you one day.
    2. About that: I actually am drawing since I can remember and even though my childhood mission was to be a good girl and not bother anyone, I pestered my father to enroll me in an art school 400 km away. This should have taught me about the positives of being persistent, but somehow didn't.
    3. Even though I am super girly, as you have probably noticed, three of my top 5 favourite films are Tropic Thunder, Zombieland and the Other guys. Please don't judge me.
    4. I played field hockey all through my high school. I was even in Croatian national team for a championship. As a back up goalie. And they say am not sporty!
    5.Only two famous people I met while living in London (by met I mean seen) are Erin O'Connor and Keira Kneightly. Both absolutely stunning with airbrushed skin. Seriously, they know something we don't.
    6. After high school I spent 3 months in Queensland, Australia and absolutely loved it. I am so sorry to hear about the floods and I do hope not too much damage will be done.
    7. And one kinky one: I was a model you know. Once a guy who runs a foot fetish website asked me to take pictures of my feet and I've let him. I did think about the fact that it's like showing him my boobs, but as I had no feelings about it, figured it would be false moral to pretend to be prude. Who knows maybe I was Sexy feet of the month!

This was fun.

I tag these lovelies Jemma Louise , Aggie, Very Chic List, Milla, Simple Village Girl, Mon Petit Chou Chou, Veronika, Life as a sketch, EmmaKisstina, Full Cup, Modanista Junkie, Cupcake, Boheme Noir, Style Souk, Meagan Morrison

Illustrators drawing illustrators

I have been working on a sexy subject of frozen fish all day long, that's why am just posting this. My apologies.

Well, this is the lovely Katie Walters, fellow illustrator and I had the luck of getting her in Meagan Morrison's Illustrators Drawing Illustrators blog crawl. She sent me some pics of her, and I got the feeling she liked her nights out (don't we all). There are no shoes in the pics, but I got the feeling from her illustrations that she likes turquoise, so turquoise shoes it was. And it was just a lucky coincidence I like blue shoes. I mean, whatever...
Well, I do hope she is gonna like it. I just wanted to make it fun and pretty, like she is.
You can visit her blog here  and check out what she's done for hers. My illustration is by Mara Louise Cespon and I have to say I love anyone who uses David Downton and me in the same sentence. Drawing is super cute, and I actually do look like that (at least on my good days).

Back to frozen fish.

Train + Vogue makes for a fun day

I would just like to state for the record that, generally, I don't discriminate against anyone. Exception to this, are buses. I dislike buses...( Nothing more than this as that would put in motion forces of nature resulting in me having to take a bus ride every day until I die. This would be my idea of hell).
But trains... Trains I like. I find them charming. Not sure why and don't really care.
Anyway today was one loooong train ride. Two and a half hours one way, 15 min work, two and a half hours back. Oh, joy! But I didn't hate it. I read my Vogue, did some drawing (I could never do this on a bus... just saying!), made plans for the week, all in all a great ride.
I am sorry to post only a quick sketch, but I got up at 4 this morning and have to get up at 6 tomorrow, so am already a soldier down. On the other hand don't you love how 40's the girl is. It somehow makes me think of Brief encounter.
Also, isn't  it strange (read perfect) how, whatever you're doing, if you add Vogue to it, it become's times and times better. Even better is that I can actually write this sentence and know that you will know what I mean (even if you don't completely agree). Love you guys!

The magic of letting go

Do you think wine can cure a sore throat? Well in each case a night of fine dining, laughter and wine the other night cured mine. I swear.
Entire last week I've been between sick and ok... not too bad, but definitely not good. Well Friday I've finally went to see a friend's apartment (she and boyfriend bought it like two years ago) and had one of those nights when everything just sits right, There was no pressure of expecting too much, neither of us was trying too hard (around food or entertainment, as it knows to happen), food was great, wine was good (our logic of buying wine based on how well designed the label is has proved to be right), movie was great, then there were some extra fun things that resulted in a bunch of mini chocs being eaten. Everything was just flowing.... This is not the first time I was going with the flow, but every single time i realize again how this is the only way to do things. Trying hard to make something the way I imagined it has never ever turned good!
So am making this post my official "Go with the flow" reminder!

Lazy friday

And here is my favourite theme.
These came to be while trying to spend the ink from yesterdays drawing. First I just made a stain and looked at what it reminded me of. Out of that I developed these three drawings. I guess it is true when they say that this kinda drawing is something of a Rochard test. It seems to be saying that summer is on my mind (lady in the swimsuit)... no way, ha. Than there is the cool guy... again, no way, right! And the third is just a kind of fashion drawing.... What can I say? Nothing you didn't know!

These boots were made for walking

There are some items of clothing that are openly sexually predatory and over the knee boots are somewhere at the top of the list. You can never tell on which side of the fetish border are they, but you can bet your ass they will act as a turn on. For everybody, including yourself!
It's not the first time items like this crossed over from the sex shop, and this one is just as risque as most of them (though I think they are better than the rubber ones that were in every editorial a few years ago). For this reason it is essential to dress them down. Man jacket, plain shirt, no jewelery... Nothing that would make you look like Pretty woman.
But for the woman who has courage and, most importantly, style to wear them... tip of the hat to you. I like nothing better than a woman with some balls!

Black swan

Anyways, have you seen it? I've seen it last weekend and I have to tell you... pretty great.
But what is perfect is Natalie Portman. I swear if she doesn't make another film ever she has accomplished more than a lot of older (and good) actresses around.
The entire film exist just to be a platform for her performance.
But what got to me, and I think anyone who does any kind of "art" is that obsessiveness and existing only through performing (be it dance or painting).
The drawing above is my favourite scene where she is accepting her transformation and she "becomes" Black swan... I found it excellently acted, choreographed and shot and very true to life (even though it is surreal). It is an incredibly hard job to show such a state while the camera is focused on her face through the entire process. 
AND, not to go all feminist on you, but there is not a lot of female characters of such depth in art in general so this is great from this side as well. I would go that far to claim that I don't think a man could have done this... as it seems to require inordinate amount of vulnerability and sensitivity, something a man would rationalize early on (although they would probably not be as repressed, so this is up for debate).
Please let me know what you think of the film if you have seen it, I am curious how other people see it.

Burberry still does it for me...

I see a lot of clothes on a daily bases, but was completely blown over by the Burberry Pre Fall 2011, which really rarely happens lately. 
More fashion I see, harder it is to be impressed... Sometimes I like something, but it all just starts to look the same. Am seriously craving a surprise!!! Or a fashion detox, whichever comes first...
Still, this collection is doing it for me, even in this state of half ennui... Mind you it might be the styling and mannequin like models, but I loved almost every piece from this collection.
Here is a few looks I was particularly drawn to... Probably because I still haven't found my favourite coat look this season. The lines... the tailoring... the colors... everything is of the highest level , but I think what really got me is the amazing silhouette they create. Elongated but strong and voluminous... Just the way I like it.

Full steam ahead?

So how was everything for you? Happier? Fatter? I personally tried to substitute the lack of excitement with Milka Jaffa cakes. I did not succeed. Still worth the try...
But funny thing this year. Even though officially a new year began I don't have this feeling about me and what I do. I didn't even have the need to celebrate it or make resolutions or think about what have I done and what have I screwed up (even though I have to remind you , I am very prone to doing this quite often. Just for the record.)
But I definitely am into continuing what I have been doing. And adding to that. So in the great tradition of New Year resolution I would like to make two public promises.
I promise that by the end of January I will 
1. Make at least one animation and
2. Open my Etsy store.
I know this doesn't sound like much but there are some things that are not quite as public as this, plus everything I had on my plate before this snow storm of holidays.
Animations take a lot of time, but this is an area I want to do much more of and am very much into. Also I think this will open a whole new area of creativity for me.
Etsy store is something that was suppose to happen months ago, but it takes a bit of time to put everything together so... January will be its month.
So much for today, I have a huge backlog of blog reading due to being at the end of the world.
P.S. And yes I do imagine to be going ahead in Erdem. One day though...