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Afternoon quckie


So sorry for the rare posts, I promise it will be for only a few more days. At this point I can't wait holidays to be over.
here is a 5 min sketch I did, just so I actually post something. Kisses!

Surf for life

 

I have come to the conclusion that unless I spend at least one summer of my life surfing, my life will be wasted.
I am not joking. For those of you who think that this is shallow and childish I suggest you go now and come back tomorrow when I am back in some usual “deep” s***.  Kisses and see you tomorrow.
For the rest... you are my new best friend and you can come and live with me in Hawaii, or whatever surfing paradise I manage to reach. And yeah, you guessed it right, I have watched Blue Crush yesterday but I have reliable witnesses who can testify this has been my dream since high school.
I do realize that for a lot of people this is not a big stretch, but for me... It could so easily slip away and never happy, staying in it’s perpetual second place. There are always bigger and more important dreams slash projects am working on at any particular moment.
 If I don’t do it next year I will probably do it as a therapy after my first divorce. And oh my, what an image that will be (I won’t be no 19 year old Kate Bosworth I can tell you that).
Anywho, this is on my bucket list and it is so getting crossed off. I hope.

Ghost of Christmas past



So it came and went. Christmas that is. 
Seen some family. Stuffed myself with some food (and more). Gave some present then got some. Drank some vodka blueberries.  Got some headache.
More or less your average Christmas holidays. Nothing to write on your blog about.
And then again that is the best part: even though I got totally into it I managed to avoid buying into the whole commercial shiny picture of Christmas when no dinner is as big, when no family is as happ , no gift is as much as the picture all the ads before Christmas try to present, making you believe that here is a chance for you to be as happy as these people in our catalogue, if only you were smart enough and buy this ................ (insert product) we are selling. If you have a crappy Christmas in which you are still painfully aware of the mediocrity of your life, don't come crying to us. We gave you a chance!
Well, as I said this year I men aged to avoid this and had a great time. Now keep your fingers crossed that I don't hit the great depression iceberg that a failed New Year's eve party can be!

Happy holidays everyone


I actually wanted to make a Christmas e card as a present for all you guys, but turns out I don't know how to upload it (or where) other than like an image as here. Anyways if someone still wants to use it for this purpose go ahead ( I won't even get into the whole copyright subject- if someone even considers stealing a christmas card, they have much bigger problems coming).
Well here you are, enjoy a cute little drawing of a Valentino couture dress.
P.S. I have to tell you am quite proud I found a way to channel my Christmas spirit- this is like the 7th Christmas card today.

Santa's little absent-minded helper


You know when it's Friday or a day before a long weekend and you are at work but in your head you are already gone. So you sit there but don't do nothing because your brain is not in the same time dimension. This is how I basically feel now. Except in this case it's not a long weekend, it's Christmas. I got myself all hyped up and now am pretty much useless for anything else.
The drawing above took about 7 minutes in total (sorry!), with exporting and all, that's how much patience and inspiration I have.
All I want to do is sit with my family in front of the fire, make cakes and read.
I promise once the holiday season is over, my brain will be with you again, but for now am not the sharpest Santa's little helper.
Btw, just want to say THANK YOU to all you guys who come here, old and new, despite my obvious lack of ideas last week. I do appreciate that, and promise I will make it up to you with some new and exciting stuff as soon as I regain control of my brain cells.

Easy on the eyes


So here is the thing... I think am becoming "four eyed"... My eyes hurt.
I mean, I know it's no big deal, and that glasses are a great accessory and bla bla, but I really hoped to avoid that little annoyance.
Yesterday I actually avoided blog work so I could rest my eyes. But it turns out if am not gonna watch something or read a book, there is nothing much I know to do to relax (at home off course, not in general).
Well at least I have done some drawing as this doesn't seem to bother my eyes as much. Watching little letters on a screen, however, does. You should just see me. I ctrl + every single page... it looks like my granny was on the computer. Damn, am cool!
Anyways I think am gonna go for a check up after the holidays, and see how bad is it.
Maybe am gonna pull it off as gorgeous as the girl above (what, maybe the glasses come with a asymmetric cut dress and a gallery opening invitation? It's possible!).

The gift of yoga keeps on giving


As you'll probably guess, today's illustration is a bit off topic. I prepared it last night for a completely different topic, but have just came back from the best yoga class ever and just have no patience to write about anything "smart" or "thought provoking". Am floating on a cloud of cheerfulness. I tell you there is nothing like a good yoga class... or am guessing whichever exercises form you are into. I got sweaty, I got relaxed. Such well structured sequence and the class was working in such perfect unison I was proud of us. Really. You should just see the grin on my face now.
Well anyways, just to let you know am actually getting into the Christmas's spirit and am really looking forward to spending some special time with my family. They tend to be kinda hippie-ish about it, just letting us do what we want, but am thinking this year am just gonna take initiative and organize everything by myself (specially as my parents had a bad year business and financially wise so a bit of holiday cheer will be great). This probably means that, yes, you can expect Christmas themed drawings....

A proper daredevil


First of all let me just tell you I am so glad about yesterday's post response. I love that it got us thinking just a little.
Today's post is, in a way, a second part of it. As I started to think about what does confidence means to me I remembered the red lipstick subject.
You see, I haven't worn red lipstick in years. Biggest reason is my lips as they are quite small. In my mind red lipstick was for people with perfect skin and lips, or those girls, who dress extremely quirky and you basically don't expect it to look good on them. It's just a color statement for them.
Well, when I was in London last September I bought myself a very cool shade of red in Top Shop: Daredevil. And started wearing it right away (though that just might have been influence London has on me). And all of a sudden it was OK... I loved it.
My point you might ask? Well I feel there are things for each of us we keep putting of until we are "better", or have even completely given up on, and all due to the lack of confidence. Yes my lips are still small, and I still have imperfect teeth but I wear red lipstick and nothing happened. Whatever I imagined might happen that made me give up on this, might I say, wonderfully feminine pleasure, didn't happen.
Who know how many other "red lipsticks" are there, ha?

Confident like a woman


Well first of all, great weekend. Sorry for not posting more during the past week but as you could see there was a lot on my plate. Also, I think that every process needs time, and for me it was all out lately not enough of stuff coming in and brewing in my head. Well two days off and am ready to rock again.
Anyways I was reading and looking at pics and talking to friends and am full of ideas, and one thing came to me which I wanted to bring up, as I think a lot of you could have an opinion on this.
Confidence. Specially how confident girls are, as this is such a rare and wonderful thing to have. Am not talking about confidence they talk about in magazines, or the one that's just used to cover up holes of ones self doubt. Am talking about the one you get after you go through a few things and you realize you are going to be fine no metter what. The one you have when you realize you are far from perfect, but still you're cool.
I find this to be such a tricky subject, as confidence among girls and women is not so well accepted as one would wish. Unfortunately I have no smart advice here, this post is more thinking than concluding. I even had trouble finding a right pose for the illustration as I couldn't decide how exactly confident looks like. No way I was gonna go with a big smile representing how everything is great in life once you get it (as it is very often illustrated) because it isn't and it won't be ( so we can both stop waiting for that to happen to solve our problems)... Some poses were openly masculine and although this would be a good social comment (as this is the kind of confidence usually considered the good one) I was thinking there must be something distinctly feminine and confident I could represent, without being overtly sexual (also a common way for girls to assert themselves) or on the other hand erasing the sexual idea completely (which I think is also wrong).
You tell me if I was right.

Something for the weekend


Oh, just a bit of old school glamour for a lovelier weekend.
Am actually over at net a porter fantasy shopping for a dress for my new years party. Something sparkly is so gonna go down! Also it is time for generating new ideas, so I need a lot of (sparkly) input.
I leave you to enjoy the purple beauty. kisses

If I am out of my mind it's alright with me







There is a possibility am in a winter fantasy land. I don't know. I haven't left the apartment in two days.Yesterday I was working 9-19 straight without leaving my computer, and today it's raining and snowing all day. Am thinking of going out now but I live on a very steep hill, it's dark already and this seams like a tricky feat. On the other hand I might lose my mind staying in.
I have to tell you am feeling a bit uninspired last few days. When I draw am mostly working on my technique, and you don't want to see this. Its just rows and rows of eyes and eyebrows in different positions (though this is better than eggs I did 2 weeks ago, which I have to say were an excellent exercise). On the other hand am sure you'll agree am definitely becoming better with my eyes.
P.S. Title is the first line from one of my favourite novels, Herzog by Saul Below, so no need to worry (i think so...).

Where to wear McQueen?


Oh, McQueen... These are from his 2011 ss Collection. At least I think they are.
You know when they say that you will mostly regret the things you don't do, rarely the ones you do. Well I regret not buying an Alexander McQueen dress in a vintage shop in Islington for £120 from a previous season. I didn't know where would I wear it, as it was a floor length Grecian dress... Isn't that the stupidest idea you've heard in a while!?! Where would I wear Alexander McQueen? Honestly, sometimes I worry myself...
Anyways, I am so tired tonight, having worked all day, and than by the time I got home, cooked dinner (tomato soup with pancetta, if you wonder), done my rounds on Bloglovin, had a chat with my flatmate (it was quality conversation, there was an aha! moment involved, she IS getting the radio alarm clock) and here I am. Off to bed now!

The line joins as much as it separates


This drawing officially goes into that mistake box I was telling you before (you know the one my Nazi mind keeps for all things not up to it's impossible standard), but I have to say I love it. Not only because it has no under drawing in pen and in spite of all the lines gone "wrong". I love it because it is sexy, balanced and so simple it's almost zen.
The title of the post is one of the zen views of the world in which it states that everything that separates at the same time joins and vice versa (depending on the point of view) but at the moment you start looking at something that joins you immediately separate... Because to join something it needs to be separate. And who is to say where something ends and another thing begins.

Some fetishes are cooler than others


I had a realization today as I was drawing these. I have a genuine fetish.
More precisely I have a blue high heel shoes fetish. Just give me a pair of any blue shoes and am gone... And I think I know which trauma kick started this.
So... one lovely summer day, years ago, me and my than boyfriend are strolling through the mall. Its June. Summer sales are in full swing. We pass a shop and I see them. Love at first sight. Blue kitten heel slingbacks. But as we are in a hurry we just keep going. 3 days later am still thinking about them. By now I already developed a full on fantasy life of our happy union. I saw all the lovely places am gonna wear them to and how happy two of us are gonna be. Finally boyfriend says - For fuck sake, just stop talking about the shoes and go buy them- takes my hand, his American Express and we go to buy them. In the shop I try them on, and oh my, they look quite perfect ( I have a high arch so kitten heels look quite lovely on my feet, not that am bragging) and am ecstatic. But, oh no, one is a little bigger: - Sorry miss, I say to the sales girl, you gave me one a size bigger. Impossible, says she, that's the last pair! You can imagine my horror. I was pondering a while if I could, maybe, walk around with one shoe bigger than the other... But I couldn't.
As we're leaving, am quite still unable to believe that our life together would never happen and all of a sudden tears just start rolling down my face. First and last time I cried over a pair of shoes.
And now I have a fetish. Life, ha!
P.S. These are Givechy warrior boot from a while ago, but perfect beyond belief!

Oh, you joker you...


You know what I love? I love a women with a sense of humour. Someone who doesn't take herself too seriously. In both life and dressing. Humorous personality spills into fashion in attitude, to both choice of clothes and how one wears it. I've noticed that when you see a woman who really has style (as opposite to someone who just has access to a stylist), she will always have a certain looseness in dressing that indicates she doesn't take herself or fashion too seriously.
Also, I feel it shows a certain lack of (or at least less) vanity which I always greatly appreciate as it seems vanity is a worryingly growing trend. And a person who has sense of humour will rarely be overly dramatic or turn to self pity in harder times. Sure am aware it (humour) can be used as a defense technique (cough, cough, often used it myself) but then again everyone uses something.
So in the praise of the funny girl, I give you this babe today. She is absolutely lovely!

Rolling in the deep



I would just like to state for the record that I am not a huge Adele fan. Women has great talent and wonderful potential, but not a huge fan. At least not until now. Her new album is coming out and they keep playing this song on NME radio (remind me to tell you the story of NME radio one time: there will be sex in it wink wink) and am loving it. She seems to be more mature in her writing and I like the energy of this song (although this is strange as she wrote it when she was furious of someone, so... yeah, whatever). When I finally found it online, there is this very cool video for it: its not really a video, more like a footage of her recording, but its great.



Anyways, I took a couple of stills from it and made a couple of quick sketches. The one you are seeing is the only one that actually kinda looks like her... a little, right?
Also I have to tell you this reminded me how much I would love to do video and animations. I love that stuff, just never have time to get on it. I swear as soon as I win that ham contest, am quitting my job and doing video.

Youth in revolt

First of all, whenever you feel there is a need for an intervention about my love for fifties looks, feel free... I know I might be overdoing it a bit but it gives me such a warm feeling inside. Maybe am just having Mad Man withdrawal symptoms, who knows.
But today was a very interesting day: am trying on a new life perspective. It is about how all life experiences are equally important, hard ones and pleasant ones, and how you can't discriminate against the hard ones because they are also a part of you and what makes you... well you.
So when I was faced with a situation today that usually sends me spiraling into anxiety (my disorder of choice) I just taught " No this is great, I love all of this" and just skipped the part when I fall into that anxiety hole and simply went on as before. I know it sounds strange but, there is some strange thrill in enjoying it, like a rebellion or something.
Anyway that was today. How was your day/night/week?

All the pretty things



Tonight I just sat at my desk, started drawing and this is what came out. There is a theory in art history that most painters painted Adam and Eve and all the Greek mythology just as an excuse to paint naked women (I guess it was men for some of them). Same way I think i love fashion just because it allows me to look at beautiful thing all day long. Same reason I draw beautiful women: to create even more beauty. Not the worst of life motivations, but not the greatest either, ha? 
Well in each case, while I ponder incessantly on the subject, here is a beautiful image for you to look at.

I have been mistaken



Am obsessed with mistakes. Not just in drawing but in life as well. Guilt is my hobby. Self deprecation about lines that go wrong is my go to feeling. Oh, not to even mention the low self esteem I get from not being able to draw a portrait without putting it on paper in pen first ( oh, for the day I'll be able to just take a brush and draw straight to paper without taking a wrong turn!).
Avoiding mistakes is my number one excuse for not being... whatever being is.
The thing is, it's not like I believe only in completely realistic art (actually hiperrealisam and directions like this are rarely very good art... mostly just interesting) so this is not a reason I have trouble tolerating mistakes in art. In life I find that people who do everything by the book are possibly the most boring individuals you could encounter.
But as am moving along my timeline, am starting to think that mistakes don't exist. I realize that this a strange concept, but really, this is the conclusion I am coming too. So many times I have seen my drawings, which were branded as mistakesat the time of making and survived purely by accident or the mercy of my mother (she is the Schindler of art to my Nazi self) after a while, and realized they are good.
And in life mistakes turn out to be pretty relative term: it is always a point of view that brands something as a mistake.
So in the celebration of wonderful "mistakes" I give you three of mine from today.

Speed (up)date


How was it you might ask?
Let me tell you just how it was. It was FANTASTIC.
No, really so much fun. I would recommend this to everyone.
So in the end there was that friend of mine, and another friend as well (when she heard I was going it was like: I GOTTA see this! and am like: So.. you wanna come then? )
So there was no one whose contact details I would like (host and his friend were the best looking ones) but they weren't all bad. Some of them would be just OK for someone.
But the rest... Oh my... There was one guy that came with a card with questions. The best thing is I think that it wasn't even written on a computer but on a typewriter. And, AND, I could swear that card had an id number. Then there was this farmer guy who grows vegetables in greenhouses. He told to one of my girls:
- I've been on a TV about it, maybe you've seen it? 
-When wast it on?- she innocently asked. 
- About five years ago- he answers, dead serious.
I tell you, so much fun. Then off course we had a guy who wants to get married and have children, like, yesterday and the first sentence he asks is what are your plans regarding that (you can imagine my answer! It is so far along the road that I can't consider anything in that department a plan. Maybe an idea or a possibility maybe...).
Afterwards we went for beer and Ĩevapi (kind of great fast food made from minced meat we like to eat around here) and had such a laugh that there were tears (laughter ones). Ahhhh... the good days.

Drawing exercises




Here are some sketches I did earlier, a bit of watercolor practise. Nothing revolutionary, just a bit of exercises in volume, light and tone. Images are from the September issue of Vogue. First one is a portrait from the editorial, and second Natalia Vodianova in Louis Vuitton campaign.
I wasn't going for artistic interpretation or expression, just wanted to work on my skills, but I do like how they look. What I love about watercolors is that they make everything look dreamy... But most of all I love how hard it is to control it. It is almost impossible, but that is why you work with them: it's like you and chance are working together. 
Almost like life, don't you think? 

Nu(d)e trends


Hello lovelies... am all chipper this evening, God knows why (It wouldn't have anything to do with a glass of wine next to the computer!).
As you can guess from this little intro, am so not in working mood today. Of any kind. I know its only tuesday and all, but just not into work. Back at it tmrw!
For now here is a little sketch I did this weakend. Didn't mean to use it, but here we are!(smiley face) I do like that it has two trends I love: nude and cabin wear. Am off now... will try to do something fun! :-)

How you doin?


As you might or might not know, am single... and have been for a while. Sure there is the occasional boy, but no love in the air.
Now am not the kinda person who is gonna invest in this area of her life. For one, it can be counterproductive, and number two, I always believed that this is something that takes care of itself. So far so good, right?
But it seems no... or maybe yes, but not in a time frame I am comfortable with.
So this morning my friend calls me and says:
- What are you doing Thursday evening?
- Probably working, why?
- Do you wanna go to a speed date event?
- You bet ya!
Hence the cheeky grin in the illustration. I have never been to one of these, but I am quite good with first impressions. Am all chatty, humorous, flirting cutie *. It's later, when feelings develop, that I start... how shall i put it...messing up.
So this Friday, stand by for a cute lil post on how my first speed dating event went.

* this is off course all in the case I do not fancy someone. If I do opposite ensues: am all trying too hard to be funny, over giggling mess.

Every day is the best day of your life!



Am not trying to be ironic or self help affirmative. This is a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Now, I am actually bringing it up as I started to think it is an interesting concept. There is a similar idea in zen so I have ran into this before, but have quickly discarded it as " Yeah, yeah, sure it is... All days except some"...
But when I read it the other day it kinda made me think. First thing everyone is gonna say is what about people caught in a tsunami, or people living in war conditions or in Haiti. I can't (and won't) convince anyone of this as I feel it is one of those things you can't explain, especially as I am still struggling with it, but I do feel there is an actual truth to it. I don't know why this rings true all of a sudden, as I myself have a dozens of examples of days that can't be considered the best... Maybe it is because of the time thing: as there is only present, there is no past and future to compare the day with (both past and future exist only as ideas)... I could go on like this but I don't wanna ruin the best day of your life!
Anyway here is something to ponder on, and a pretty picture to look at while you are doing so!

I can finally show u Emma now


OH.MY.GOD!
I have just spent friggin ages trying to install my new scanner, but lo and behold, it is finally half-done (still need to get the right software to get good images, hence the cramped composition here). To celebrate I have scanned a portrait I did recently.
You all know am not into drawing celebrities and stuff, but Mario Testino's portraits of Emma Watson in the latest Vogue, I have to say, are very beautiful. Classy but modern: they draw on her features and short hair to get the sixties vibe making her seem fresh and free and independent.
I liked the the interview as well, she seemed as healthy as one could expect
So here is my rendition of one of the pics, hope you like it as much as I do. Portraits are not yet my strong point, so I was really happy that I succeeded to capture her likeness even though every little detail wasn't drawn.

Child woman


Well once again I was planning for a different post. Actually this time for a different drawing. When I started this afternoon, the girl was wearing a sweater. But I think the point is the same: Child woman. I have a feeling many girls my age are like this. I know it sounds like am projecting, but this is actually based upon response I had to some other posts on this blog ( like this and this).
Not ti disappoint you, but I have nothing smart to say on the subject. All I offer you is a lovely image of a girl in Agent Provocateur.

Tonight am not gonna try to be better


Today I just wanted to do whatever. And do it just because!
I had a post or two planned, drawings done and all, but... I realise I constantly do things I think am suppose to do or trying to be something I think would be "smart" to be. So today's drawing has no point no message no nothing... I did it just because.
This is in no way a new occurrence. I have been going through the phases of this since I can remember. There was always a better version I was aiming for, making the actual one just not good enough. And even though I would like to say no more, I know this is probably not an option. Enlightenment has eluded me in this area. This is just a bit of rebellion against the constraints I have set for myself.
But no really, will I ever learn? How long is this gonna go for? Does anyone else struggle with this? Or better yet does Tom Ford struggles with this? Is there anyone ( not counting you Dalai Lama) who is just themselves and content with it? Not resigned on improving him/ herself or life in general, but just not trying to be someone else?
I think this is why I love people who seem to be unapologetically themselves, weather it's well accepted or not, or weather it is considered excellent or not.

Cheap candy



I used to have this friend with whom I shared love of cheap candy. We would go to the 99p store and raid their Pick'n'Mix. The sparkliest and flashiest the color, the more we loved it. Afterwards was pretty much your average hangover. Achy head, sugar poisoning, guilt... But while we were doing it... It was like surfing on cotton candy and rainbows.
Not sure why am I telling you this as what I wanted to talk about is basically how I have this weakness for all kind of trashy things. TV, girls, clothes, food... And am not into it in that conceptual Andy Warhol way. Just your average pink sparkly 99p store kinda trash. It amuses me. I forget reality through it. Honestly I still didn't go all Freud on it as I don't wanna ruin it, but it does surprises me every once in a while.
Just so you know, my latest "cheap candy crush" is The only way is Essex.... I watch it and everything looks so simple all of a sudden. I'll stop right here cause if I overthink it, am gonna ruin everything and than am going to have to find another hobby!

P.S. Just for the record I could not, for the life of me, get into Real Housewifes of anything. Shame I know! ;-)

Artist's way







As I mentioned yesterday, I did some sketches last night. They are far from perfect, but they felt very liberating.
The other day in comments, Siubhan mentioned that a drawing was not my usual style and this kind of got me thinking.Here is the thing....
Never in my life have I drawn this much (except while I was living in London, and that was another kind of drawing).
As most people, I always thought that it was smart to be practical so I decided to study graphic design thinking I can switch later to illustration. From time to time I had periods when I would do some drawing, but this was once or twice a year for a week or two. Off course in uni I started working and it was always easy to get a job as a graphic designer. And life kinda rolled on. I would return to drawing every once in a while, like to an old lover... Only when I moved to London did I realize I don't want to waste anymore time and that fashion illustration is all I wanna do (and all I ever wanted to do!). So I drew and I drew... but pesky little thing called life kept interfering. Except for the few jobs and some gallery sales I couldn't really make a living out of it and do it full time. So once again I wasn't drawing. But this time I knew what I wanted and no such thing as recession was gonna keep me down.
So now I still work as a graphic designer but have this blog to draw and be my school and a place where I get to express all those images that go through my head every day.
But all this has resulted in me not having a definite style of my own. Sure there are some indications, but am still far from it and I find this so exciting.
You are basically watching an artist in the making! Am guessing you are going to see a lot of "WTF"s and some "cool"s and "oh so pretty"s but I can promise you fun and a lot of pink and shoes!
P.S. Sorry for a bad quality: am in the process of getting a scanner and I gave my camera to dad as he is in into it now. Am doing all this with my faithfull I phone!

Life in heels


To be honest, I was planning for a completely different post, but my god was it not comin out of me. I did some great sketching which am going to show you one of these days, but this drawing is a thought that passed through my head today. Not a lot of explaining, i think everyone knows what I mean by it... But what I love about it is that the thought came into my head together with this image. This exact pose! I don't have anyone to model for me this late at night and I couldn't find it anywhere so I had to construct how it would look from my head (hence some mistakes). I am still wondering why did this particular pose come to my head? Can you see the symbolism that I can't?

What a day


Just to let you know right a way, today the drawing has nothing to do with the post. This is just something I did and I kinda like it... It has potential.
But oh my, what a day I had. Last night I had a fight with a friend about the stupidest thing (Try to remember the fights you had when you were 10 or 11. That stupid!), I barely managed to wake up in the morning and than had a really bad day at work (and probably will have tomorrow as well). All this triggered an anxiety attack and now am sitting here with a new pair of shoes and stuffing my face with satsumas... Bit funny, isn't it? On the other hand shoes were half off and they have a heel. Am proud of myself, specially cause they had great Nike Dunk's for small money and they are my special weakness.
Am gonna make an illustration with my new shoes one of these days, but now I am off to do some drawing.

Draw me overwhelmed


Today I felt overwhelmed.
Not in a bad way... It's just that I feel that there is so much I need to do, have to do and, most of all, want to do.
I have been working all day, first my work than blog work than drawing. But all I want to do is draw.
The more I draw, more I want to draw. I feel a constant need, almost greed, to be better and better at drawing and I feel there is no time for everything. Whatever I do, I feel it is just the bare minimum.
I mean, I know this is all crap, and bla bla, and don't even mention being in the moment (I know Way of zen by heart).
It is just that this wanting overwhelms me, makes me anxious and I don't like it. I know from before that when I become like this I burn out very soon. Most of all I know my needs at the moment are very escapist and just repeating karma, which is always redundant.
Well, let's see what tomorrow brings.

Coffee culture(d)


As you might know, I live in a country that has a strong coffee culture. This means people like to sit and have coffee with their friends, if possible during working hours. If the sun is out, never mind if its Wednesday morning, every coffee place in every urban settlement will be full. This is the rule!
But, as much as I would like to deny it, I am a product of my surroundings, and I do like me some coffee lounging in the sun. But I like it best when I don't have time to do it and then come Saturday morning, am all excited and cant wait. Get the papers, buy a bagel and sit somewhere on a terrace.
I am not sure why but this is much better than if it was Tuesday or Wednesday... Even if you don't have  to go to work afterwards. There is something to Saturday morning coffee... though I was always partial to rituals, but about this on another occasion.
And oh yeah, am writing this cause I didn't get to have mine yesterday due to some unforeseen circumstances and now basically have to wait for another week. But am thinking this is gonna make it more fun!!!
P.S. Also a big Like for my sister for posing for me for this drawing.

Does Lanvin hearts H&M?



I don't have rave reviews and squealing for this, but it definitely doesn't suck. I mean H&M usually does decent clothes, Lanvin is Lanvin, it cant be bad right?
Some things I like, some am not so thrilled about (there are certain fashion styles that should be done only in exquisite ( read expensive) cutting and fabric... but still I like that they are pushing the boundaries a little.
I loved these two dresses in the collection (Not just them, but didn't have time to do more drawings) and drew them Maya's way. Hope you like it.

P.S. I love the fifties trend and think its great you can get a dress like this on the high street!!! It would be so great to see more girls dressed like this.

I love how a drink with the girls cures everything.


Yesterday I finished work at 6 o' clock (that's 8-6 if you wonder). Almost got run over by a car on the way home for the lack of street lights (faithful I phone saved me). Home pure drama and depression... atmosphere was like in a  Bergman film. Was not in the mood!
I called a friend, she called her friend and three of us went for drinks. Aaaaaah... that's better!
Few vodka blueberries later and "No, did she really do that!!!!" and " He is cute as a button" and all was forgotten...
I tell you this is the best cure ever... it's there somewhere with a movie night and cuddling, morning sex, new hair and new shoes (these last two not together: It is only in rare and troublesome times that you use this in conjunction. It's like a double dose of antibiotics!!!!)

Anyways today am happy and so cool.

I love fall when its gold...


Did you already buy this years coat?
I've been mostly fantasy shopping: this time not for the lack of money but for the lack of choice.
Here, at the end of the world (as one might assume), there is no decent shops.
There is a shop... not my cup of tea. I would rather stay home all winter than buy something there (oh, listen to the elitist me!)
The problem this year is that I don't have any idea what would I like. There is no distinct style am into. Usually am all: " Oh, I GOTTA have a red coat bla bla..." or " Am totally into military!"... But this year, nada. Am aware there are certain style directions out there, but no preference yet.
I drew this girl and I liked it just cause she looks so cosy and chic at the same time. I suppose this is what I want from a coat... or most people for that matter.

Weekend sketches or I don't have a life... AGAIN



So... it turns out if you run away to the edge of the world and just work and draw, you get to not having life. Well this mission has been successfully accomplished! Ka ching!!!!
Nothing to do with the drawings, this is just some of the things I made this weekend. Don't you just love Dolce&Gabanna girls in leopard print and polka dots!
Anyways... Back to me not having a life. This seems to be a reoccurring theme. Problem is I can't seem to focus on something AND have a lovely (social) life. It's always one or the other with me. I just become blind to everything else. This happens when am in a relationship too (guy usually thinks it's him, but it's not. It's just me being retarded). And it's fucked up if you ask me.
Does it always have to be either/ or... could I please have both?

Turns out I was happy last thursday


Again actual conversation. Again it was me saying (this) ridiculous sentence. 
It is so easy to forget how happy you are just after one crappy afternoon that doesn't go according to your expectations. Nothing doesn't have to happen. And even after years of experience, or if you want living, I cant seem to remember that happiness is not something achieved and than maintained.
So don't worry cause  this silly thought has passed soon. Today I am sitting in the sun eating pomegranate my neighbour gave me and feel super happy. Like there is nothing in the world but rainbows and ponies... and pretty girls in pretty clothes... but this is pretty much the same thing.

This is not for you, this is for me



Recently I read quite a good article on a lovely blog about lingerie and people wearing it and not wearing it an how lovely it is (though I doubt she had something like this in mind).
It is an interesting subject: can't say am where I would like to be in this area (I think it goes together with the shoes issue), but I do have to say I have a fair amount of pink things. Wink wink!
But what always surprises me is when I see who are those people who have a lingerie fetish: I've had a pleasure of witnessing a fair amount of otherwise repressed individuals having exquisite collection of sexibles and it had nothing to do with actually having sex. It was just about wearing pretty sexy things (hence the title) I love the idea of people wearing something like this under their everyday clothes in everyday, mundane, situations. Someone standing in front of you in the que...
I don't like overtly sexy people (although I strangely like, wait for it, Katie Price). I find this to be a sign of insecurity, in both man and women (though maybe not gay ones, they have different rules- straight people are more... straight), so when I see someone who is demure on the outside and wears something like this underneath, I find it so very cool.

Word on cat eye


Isn't cat eye the most flattering look ever... I don't think I have ever seen someone look bad with it, which can't be said for smokey eye (Two words: Taylor-WTF-Momsen). 
Cat eye is sexy, stylish and always in. It ads glamour in an instant... It doesn't cry for attention. It's demure. It lifts the eye. I could keep going, but I just made a drawing. 
Tell me how do you imagine this girl looks: What is she wearing? Where is she?


Girl meets boy

There is an editorial in this months french Marie Claire in which every single page is me. 
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. It's very french, so girl is very done and undone at the same time (which I love love love). But one major thing about it is that there is a lot of boys clothes; Jacket and a skirt, or wide legged trouser and a tiny tiny blouse. 
At the moment (and this is a reoccurring theme throughout my life) what I love most is wearing something very boyish and than something utterly feminine. Like boyfriend jeans and red lipstick. Or, white shirt with skinny jeans and heals (this is fantasy option... in reality it is going to be my gold ballerinas)
The contrast between these makes me giddy...