Life according to hair

First I’ll shampoo twice, leave the conditioner for 5 minutes and then rinse the life out of it (this buys me at least 20 more minutes of non greasy hair). When it’s about 70% dry I’ll start to blow dry it. In one inch segments of course. I don’t use any mousse or spray as this just seems to steal my precious “good” hours. Doing the back of my hair is also a great triceps workout as I hold a 2000 watt blow drier in the air for about 7 minutes.
After this I have about 10 to 15 hours of good hair and about 15 more hours of OK hair (from there on it's either again from the beginning or ponytail).
This is basically the way I organize my life: Most important events have to fit in that 10 to 15 hours of  good hair.
Mostly I just crave volume. Why, you ask?
Oh I don’t know. Maybe cause my hair is missing a gene and wouldn’t curl if her life depended on it, so it just lays there... straight and flat. Or cause I like a hair that frames my face, or has any kind of impact on my silhouette. Or maybe because trends may come and go, but voluminous hair is always there.
Or...OR... cause after all is said and done, straight or curly, voluminous hair always looks better than flat hair.
P.S. I would just like to state for the record, that despite all I just said I do like my hair and I think it has many wonderful qualities. I wouldn’t want it holding a grunge! (Don’t laugh, this is completely possible and anyone who ever had a bad hair month knows it).